Shoe Project

Class taken at UNC of Greensboro with Professor Maria Lim in the Spring of 2019.

Shoe Project

I selected my “hero” to be my significant other, Nick, with whom I have lived for the past almost two and a half years. I selected Nick because of his tremendous influence in my artwork, my perspective of my work, and my person in general since I have known him. I used to do create work for the sake of others -- always. It was either for class, for my mom, for commission, for other people… etc. His unconditional support of my work, and genuine interest, was a turning point for realizing the types of works I truly wanted to create.

Initiating with his actual shoe, I knew immediately I wanted there to be fire and water. That was the first painting I ever made him, it was only 4x6 watercolor and pencil, with a bit of colored pencil. All it was to me were doodles, like swirls, but he was completely obsessed with it! He put it up next to his bed. I know he still has it somewhere, but other pieces have taken its place in terms of being on display.

He understood the fire-to-water dynamic without me having explained it, without us having discussed it. He described how he viewed our relationship as a landscape -- me, the water and earth, and him, the fire and air. He said he felt this way because due to my sensitivity as a person, his exploring who I am required caution so as to not overwhelm my land and waters. I told him that so long as he believed in my oceans, I couldn’t be overwhelmed, even if all the lands were covered in lava.

Since having known him, he’s asked very scrutinizing and specific questions about my paintings, drawings, sculptures, even writings and songs. He’s not afraid to be blunt about trying to understand my pieces, because he knows that I’m not insecure about the work. All I’ve ever wanted was criticism in order to improve, and that’s what he offers -- but I don’t feel intimidated, or pressured to live up to an expectation. I still feel as though he actually likes to look at the pieces, likes to hear me sing, likes to read what I write.

And I learned that from him writing a poem about me, preparing me for a public reading (unbeknownst to me), and placing himself in that vulnerability willingly. There were almost fifty people, if not more, at the open mic. More than half of them not only knew him personally, but had past relationships or current friendships with him. And he didn’t care, because he wanted to talk about how important I was. It was romantic, but it seemed like more than that. Like we understood one another intuitively. Still do.

I let the shape of the plastered shoe tell me where it wanted to go. The paint was based on relative figures that seemed to fit the crevices or protrusions. The lava was based on the same, built out of paper underneath the plaster. The water cradled in an indentation of the shoe. The river following where the sole began. The trees standing where they could be stood. I tried to let it be as natural as possible, because that’s what it’s like to live with someone who loves you, but more importantly, knows you.

My main insight is that I don’t care how cheesy everything is perceived, but that I also don’t enjoy talking about its specifics. That’s another thing I learned from my conversations with Nick about my pieces. I don’t like talking about the meaning of my work, not because I don’t care about its meaning, but because I’d rather hear the audience’s interpretation. But if the viewer doesn’t have an interpretation that occurs naturally, I don’t want to hear about their forced interpretation either. It has to all be natural. I just don’t care about what the work “does for me” or whether it “sells.” I just want to make my art and have fun and let it live. Nick knew that from the beginning, somehow, and just got me to the point of realizing it for myself. I don’t think I’ll ever go back on the decision to let go of art as a form of capitalism.

Thank you.